covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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