I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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