3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
