you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
