I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
