the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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