I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
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He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
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