Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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