everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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