What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
