eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
What drink are we having for lunch?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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