I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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