Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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