hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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