but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
