Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
