I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
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she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize