I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
