I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
