weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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