i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
