If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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