I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Randomize
