Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
