you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
