i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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