Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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