I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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