Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Even my vagina gasped.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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