Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
