Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
