why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
