So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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