All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
