What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm passing your future prison.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
