pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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