He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got inside last night via doggy door
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize