you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
