Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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