I just threw up on my dentist
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
