Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
