Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Two words: nipple clamps
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