ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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