Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
