If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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