so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
