so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.