i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.