2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
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I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
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Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.