where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden