my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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