i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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