maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize