Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
