You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i will never coherently bang her
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i've created a new STD.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
