my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize