Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
