She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
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