Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
